Recently a dear friend of mine made fun of a lingerie catalogue I had lying around. She let out a big sigh and said, “Ugh. They want us to dress up, too?”
I laughed, relating to her palpable exhaustion. It was the first time she opened up to me about her sex life. A mother of three, my friend has been married for over twenty years to the man with whom she lost her virginity.
“Have you never gone lingerie shopping?” I asked, admittedly shocked.
She shook her head. “Nope. I’m all about the cotton underwear from Costco.”
Again, I laughed. I have those too!
She told me about how she sleeps in her husband’s old raggedy worn-out tennis shirts. I really love my friend, and no doubt her husband does, too. She’s funny and charming and honest. But she’s not getting any action.
My own experience has taught me that buying lingerie is more of a personal indulgence than a gift for someone special. It’s a way to see yourself and if you do it right it can prompt a better sex life. Feeling sexy starts within after all. It’s a state of mind.
To me, there’s something about the whole process of going into a store to buy something frilly and frivolous that is not going to be seen by anyone except yourself and your lover(s). There is nothing necessary or useful about it. It is the equivalent of buying jewelry to wear in secret or purses and hats just for around the house. It’s decadent and extravagant and it makes me feel rich, even though I am not.
Additionally, there is the delight of trying stuff on, and of seeing yourself as an object of desire. Lingerie is very personal because it speaks a certain language. Just as wearing sweatpants and t-shirts (also awesome, but in a different way) sends a certain message, so does that lacy camisole or those latex gloves.
When I go into the lingerie shop, I open myself up to seeing myself in a new way and that’s what’s fun about it. I stretch my imagination and try out something I consider truly naughty and scandalous. Even just seeing myself in the change room gets me excited. By the time I bust it out with the person I’m with, look out. It’s the thrill of self-objectifying, of having fun and playing dress up, of taking on a surprising fantastical element. It’s sexy.
I wrote about the experience to remind myself and my readers that sometimes we deserve a frilly treat. In Worth the Wait, Monique goes shopping with her friend Claudia, here is a cheeky excerpt about the lingerie shopping experience!
I pulled off my shirt quickly and Susan the shop girl turned me so I was facing the mirror. She put her arms around me and fit the corset to my front.
Then, working expertly behind me, she started to do it up. It was silky smooth and deep dark purple. There was a charcoal trim that went all around the top and down in form-fitting lines. The ties were the same charcoal color, wide and silky, so that the wearer looked gift-wrapped. I wanted to look gift-wrapped for Jerome, wanted to offer myself to him.
When Susan was finished, she checked my out in the mirror.
“Oh, Monique,” she gasped. “You’re stunning. It fits you perfectly, like it
was made for you.”
“Claudia!” I called her in. “What do you think?” I asked when she poked her head through the curtain’s opening.
“Hubba hubba,” she said. “I mean, if I were Jerome, I think I’d faint.”
“I have to have it,” I said. It was true. My mind was made up before I even saw it on myself. When I looked in the mirror, even I couldn’t resist myself. I don’t recall anything making me look or feel sexier than this.
Blurb for Worth the Wait:
Monique Mackenzie has it all. The only thing missing is the one thing she doesn’t know she can get—her boss.
Sassy and glamorous, Monique Mackenzie has everything a modern woman could want—great career, fabulous home, wardrobe and friends. Men throw themselves at her constantly, but after years of meaningless flings, the charm has worn off. The one man who truly ignites her passion is the only man she can’t have—her boss, Jerome Fontaine.
Mysterious Jerome drops clues that he sees her, too, but he seems to have a secret life outside the office. He remains elusive until Monique accidentally stumbles upon his secrets and discovers the reasons for his stoic behavior. As the fiercely private Jerome begins to trust Monique, Monique’s world is turned upside down as she figures out what she truly wants out of life.
Jerome’s presence makes her question everything from her ambitions to her erotic tastes, and in falling for him she must face her own demons.
Just when she thinks she’s got it all figured out, Monique finds herself
challenged in ways she never imagined, though the one thing she knows for certain is that she has never loved anyone as much as she loves Jerome.
Reader Advisory: This book contains characters who appear in All I Ever
Wanted, also by Destiny Moon.
Like the sound of Worth the Wait? Buy it here.
About Destiny Moon:
Romance heroines have saved my sanity numerous times through break-ups and life changes. I find escaping into a romance both soothing and revitalizing—and even better when there are some steamy scenes to tantalize the imagination.
For most of my adult life, I’ve concentrated on carving out a serious
career, but a number of love-hungry, sassy characters keep taking over my mind, insisting that I daydream, live vicariously through them and tell their stories. Watching these women emerge on the page gives me a different sort of satisfaction than I get from my day job. It is a joy to share them with readers.
I live in a tiny apartment in a crowded city and I like to think there is
something romantic about this. I did manage to find my soul mate here.
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